Out of Body Experiences

If you’ve seen the break-up then you might recall the argument scene that follows the family dinner. The “I want you to WANT to do the dishes” scene. Although this scene recently touched on a personal level, it has also transcended into my professional sphere.

I’m currently attending a week-long training program out East with my NEW company targeted on leadership and management skills. I’m with a group of 30 other Century 21 sales managers & brokers from around the states and one of them asked me last night, how do I get my agents to produce? How do I make them come into the office when the new paradigm is to work from home? How do I make them use all the virtual tools being offered? I know they are not using them because they are not producing.

My advice to him was “Anthony, you need to create your own out-of-body experiences in life and focus on your approach. MOTIVATION through authenticity and sincere love is such a simple approach that we see right past it. We make our approach more complex by attaching material rewards, threats, and manipulation behind it. This approach is biased because it’s coming from a place within yourself that wants control in an environment that is pulling you in a million directions. And once you let it get to this point then negative emotion and resentment gets seeded within this approach. The fact that he was using words such as “I want to FIRE them… I’m sooo frustrated…” points out the emotional attachment he now is wrapped up in and his position as a sales manager has NOW lost its power. Its focus.

Your out-of-body experience needs to be in the other’s best interest (this is a definition of love). And once you have THEIR best interest at heart then make a powerful request. POWERFUL REQUESTS means asking for direct results versus hoping that the individual will read your mind through your sugar-coated requests. My advice to Anthony was for him to sit down with his agent and instead of firing them or giving them an ultimatum, to sincerely express “I want to help you have a fulfilling life but have reached a point where I NEED YOU… to HELP ME… help you.”

Maybe they need to pick a different career path but by asking them for help, you have now released this burden from yourself and given them the opportunity to take responsibility for their life, for their career choice, for their happiness. This in turn is also a request for YOUR happiness. Not by ultimatum but rather by a meeting of the minds (and heart).

My out-of-body experiences come from the view as the creator of my own universe. My approach to my universe and it’s beautiful, amazing human-beings within it is with pure LOVE…or I try to at least and, I would not call it unconditional because I do have my moments. Those moments when an individual has been so trying and draining of my energy that all I think of doing is drop-kicking them :-) and this is okay… I’m human too so I allow myself to be in this negative space but only for a snippet and then I shake it off and choose to change my reaction to this human being who is simply doing the best they can… aren’t we all? The ripple effect is what you put out to the world and receive back.

My powerful request I recently made before my trip was asking my boyfriend to buy me flowers. He felt practical gifts such as my iPod docking station was better, and it is but, flowers are romantic :-) Thank God he’s not a mind-reader. I would be absolutely bored if he was.

Kicking Leaves

I was riding on the 70 degree wave of the ODD, summer weather we experienced last week but, a walk down to Argo Tea Café this past Monday brought on a nostalgic wipe-out to that surf-ride. Halfway through my walk I found myself crunching and rustling through amber colored leaves that had covered the sidewalks of Briar Place [street] and with each swoosh of my fancy boots released that wet, earthy sent that leaves hold as they begin to disintegrate into the earth. I had forgotten about this wistful childhood memory and with this, a sudden stream of manic epiphanies came.

First, what the heck happened to fall and the ardent display of fall colors? Was I supposed to embark on a Wisconsin or Michigan road-trip to experience the change of events? I’m looking out my 20th floor windows onto the lake and yep, I missed fall. Skeletal trees are starting to adorn Lake Shore Drive and the rest of this urban jungle.

Secondly, I’ve been here two years and I just acknowledged fall? Ms. “live in the moment” “stop and smell the roses” person- me! Did I fall victim to my own unconscious defense mechanism, trying to fight against the negative degree weather soon to come? I did.

Thirdly, why is it nostalgic? Well, it’s nostalgic because, as a child and immature creature of earth, our given grace and wonder of the world we live in lets us capture these evanescent moments. Juvenile breaths in time where you accept what is and entertain it with curiosity and playfulness. Boy, how many times through out the day do we forget to do this? These particular epiphanies are when I admire Will Farrell and his goofy-like character. Wouldn’t date him but I would love to keep him in a box and take him out to play at my leisure. My own Drop Dead Fred! 
 
Lastly, DAMN! I have arrived at my destination but failed to fully take in that fall stroll down to Argo Tea… can my neurotic thoughts please stop “Pumpkin chai latte please…with soy” maybe the added pumpkin flavor will redeem my lack of appreciation to Mother Nature’s wonder (another neurotic thought). After two hours of web surfing on my laptop, consumed by another stream of manic thoughts regarding my single status, I succeeded in clearing my mind upon exiting the café. I enjoyed every single amber-decaying leaf that crossed my path on my way home. With a little Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young melody strumming in my sub-conscious, I gleefully and rather dramatically made it a point to break through the clusters of dead leaves along the way…secretly wishing on a mound to present itself.