It’s been about 3 months since my last post and same amount of time since I began a new job at Jameson. Monday through Thursday I’m part of the executive staff- mainly agent relations. Fridays I’m independent and Jameson has given me the opportunity to promote my company within. Acclimating into a corporate environment with an entrepreneurial spirit has been trying at times and repressing of my self-expression, but at the end of the day I really can’t help myself :-)
Anyway, my inspiration for today’s post is a result of S.A.D. Also known as Seasonal Affective Disorder…winter depression. My super powers were depleted by mid January and a long weekend back in Sunny San Diego last month managed to restore my Joie de vivre with vigor and oomf* that lasted for a good 3 weeks… until today. Not only was Ms. Sunshine out all day BUT when I looked outside and realized that it was 5p and still bright, I sprung up from my desk with immense joy and shared it out loud. Summer dresses and strappy heels just dancing in my head!
You see, it took me three years of living in San Diego to finally accept the people. I used to question their sincerity because they seemed way too happy and eager to hug you upon meeting you. Sweetheart, immerse yourself in 365 days of sunshine, beach, and waves and I’m sure you’ll come across as the most insincere cat on the block. Meeeooow! I constantly hold myself back from squeezing the S.A.D. out of these mid-western folk in hopes that it will knock the S.A.D. out of me! My theory goes back to the basic unit of matter, the Atom. I won’t go into quantum mechanics so here goes my brief translation. An atom is a cloud of negative energy that encapsulates a positively charged center- otherwise known as the nucleus. It's ME in cold, gloomy Chicago! But not just me, it's also the frowning suit sitting next to me on the LaSalle bus reading his Wall Street Journal as well. I started developing an intense desire to hug the attitude out of him but, instead I created the visual in my head in hopes that he would be affected through osmosis. Nuclear fusion baby! Seriously, such a gorgeous creature and a shame that he isn’t smiling.
This brings me to another inspiration… beautiful people! Jameson is nothing but this and our Realtors can be visual muses. One of my favorite quotes is from Michael Rapaport in the 1996 flick, Beautiful Girls in which he’s explaining his fanatic display of super models on his wall. “A beautiful girl can make you dizzy, like you've been drinking Jack and Coke all morning. She can make you feel high; full of the single greatest commodity known to man: promise. Promise of a better day. Promise of a greater hope. Promise of a new tomorrow. This particular aura can be found in the gait of a beautiful girl. In her smile and in her soul.. and the way she makes every rotten little thing about life seem like it's going to be okay…hope dancing in stiletto heals…”
Beautiful men can also quench a S.A.D. girl’s day just the same. His Canali cologne, his emanating confidence and cool stride, his smooth glowing skin, his eloquent speech, or his sensual smile at this morning’s event because he saw my familiar face.
Showing posts with label San Diego. Show all posts
Showing posts with label San Diego. Show all posts
Thursday, 25 February 2010
Thursday, 5 November 2009
My One Year Anniversary!
Writer’s block again? NOPE. I’ve just been extremely busy with getting my business going and needed to work through a couple of emotional phunks.
I have been in this city for a year now and feel very settled in. Recently I was asked by a new acquaintance if I had made any friends since I moved and the immense smile that spilled onto my face caused me to reflect on the tight group of loving friends that I have in Chicago. I feel very blessed to have attracted the cream of Chicago’s society. I want to take this moment to acknowledge an amazing individual, my dear friend, Adam McLain. Adam was and is a powerful instrument, not only in my life but everyone else that knows him. He is a gateway to the cream of inspiring like-minded individuals that live in this city. His positive, loving character is so contagious that you want to be around his energy all the time.
My business is finally taking flight and I hired my first two employees a couple of weeks ago. It’s not easy to pick up and leave a west coast lifestyle, especially the cream of San Diego and Puerto Vallarta but God- it’s REALLY EXCITING to see what tomorrow brings. It can be a very hard and sorrowful day OR it can be the best day of YOUR Life! I would have never imagined 18 months ago that I would be A) living on Lake Shore Drive and B) owning my own company. More importantly, I would have NEVER, in a million years, imagined that it would take the loss of the greatest love of my life to have such an extraordinary life. So many ask why the hell would I leave San Diego and my work in Puerto Vallarta to start all over in Chicago? My youngest brother Randy of eighteen years old committed suicide by a gunshot wound to his head on August 25th 2008 around 1p. The day of his funeral I offered my Mother to do her hair and she said she hadn’t washed it since Randy’s death. I stepped into the shower with my Mother and washed her hair. Five minutes later my nephew Noah climbs into the shower with us butt-naked and asks that I wash his hair too. That was the moment I decided to move back home after eleven years. I don’t want to miss the next opportunity to wash my loved one’s hair.
I miss my brother so very, very much and I feel extremely blessed to be his sister, to be my father and mother’s daughter, to be an aunt… to be your friend. Thank you and MAKE IT A GREAT DAY! It was created just for you :-)
p.s. To my friends in San Diego & Puerto Vallarta, I miss and love you all. Thank you for CONSTANTLY being in contact and for all the special trips many of you have taken to Chicago to be with me. I will visit you soon when the winter has settled in.
I have been in this city for a year now and feel very settled in. Recently I was asked by a new acquaintance if I had made any friends since I moved and the immense smile that spilled onto my face caused me to reflect on the tight group of loving friends that I have in Chicago. I feel very blessed to have attracted the cream of Chicago’s society. I want to take this moment to acknowledge an amazing individual, my dear friend, Adam McLain. Adam was and is a powerful instrument, not only in my life but everyone else that knows him. He is a gateway to the cream of inspiring like-minded individuals that live in this city. His positive, loving character is so contagious that you want to be around his energy all the time.
My business is finally taking flight and I hired my first two employees a couple of weeks ago. It’s not easy to pick up and leave a west coast lifestyle, especially the cream of San Diego and Puerto Vallarta but God- it’s REALLY EXCITING to see what tomorrow brings. It can be a very hard and sorrowful day OR it can be the best day of YOUR Life! I would have never imagined 18 months ago that I would be A) living on Lake Shore Drive and B) owning my own company. More importantly, I would have NEVER, in a million years, imagined that it would take the loss of the greatest love of my life to have such an extraordinary life. So many ask why the hell would I leave San Diego and my work in Puerto Vallarta to start all over in Chicago? My youngest brother Randy of eighteen years old committed suicide by a gunshot wound to his head on August 25th 2008 around 1p. The day of his funeral I offered my Mother to do her hair and she said she hadn’t washed it since Randy’s death. I stepped into the shower with my Mother and washed her hair. Five minutes later my nephew Noah climbs into the shower with us butt-naked and asks that I wash his hair too. That was the moment I decided to move back home after eleven years. I don’t want to miss the next opportunity to wash my loved one’s hair.
I miss my brother so very, very much and I feel extremely blessed to be his sister, to be my father and mother’s daughter, to be an aunt… to be your friend. Thank you and MAKE IT A GREAT DAY! It was created just for you :-)
p.s. To my friends in San Diego & Puerto Vallarta, I miss and love you all. Thank you for CONSTANTLY being in contact and for all the special trips many of you have taken to Chicago to be with me. I will visit you soon when the winter has settled in.
Friday, 17 July 2009
Writer's Block?
Not necessarily. It has been three and a half months since my last post and I apologize for neglecting my writing. It’s not that I don’t have anything going on, I have plenty but the interesting subjects in my life involve men and dating or topics I hesitate to disclose.
My ex-husband sent me a text one evening asking that I please don’t write about our sexless marriage and, to post a disclaimer that during our relationship I had lesbian tendencies that didn’t coincide with his 14 lb. you know what. He always managed to make me laugh. For example, a year ago I placed a call to him out of the blue (it had been five years since we last spoke). I had wanted to apologize to him for making him out to be a jerk and take responsibility for the role I played in the failure of our marriage. When he answered I said “Hi, it’s Sandi”
His silence prompted me to state my full name upon which he replied “Ah! You’ve come crawling back!” I couldn’t help but crack up.
I had the pleasure of catching up with him on my recent trip back to San Diego last month and feel very blessed to have had shared the wonderful experience of marriage with him. Now back to my reason of not blogging.
So last week I, along with my friends Tracy, Erin, and Patricia, attended a last minute casting call for a reality show based on four single girlfriends living in Chicago… a Sex and The City spin-off. Tracy and I were contacted the night before with the request to attend and while I was contemplating it, Tracy jumped on it. The following morning we found ourselves answering a six page personal questionnaire regarding our friendship and dating history with a 3pm appointment set for us four to attend. Patricia wasn’t physically available but they agreed to shoot our interview while holding a laptop between the three of us so the camera could catch Patricia on Skype webcam. The first question was for each of us to state which character of Sex and The City we most resemble. Mine was a combination of Charlotte and Samantha.
Along with my deep esteem for the late Audrey Hepburn, I make it a point to carry myself with class, style, and charm BUT it doesn’t take away from the pleasure I have in being sensual. During our individual interviews, I found it very easy to disclose a couple of past events involving my sexual adventures. I’m finally at a point in my life where I feel extremely comfortable with my body and my natural desires, plus discovering what works for me and bold enough to request it.
At the same time, I am conscious of my relationships with the young adults in my life, mainly from my church youth group, who might come across my writings and the responsibility I have as their role-model and mentor.
Along with the youth, the recent men I have dated might not approve of my free-style confessions. There are two reasons within us that decide our actions; one is to look good and the other is to avoid looking bad. I want to avoid looking bad.
So with the exception of my friends and family, I will always use fictitious names when it comes to men and intimacy plus, I have decided to keep my confessions extremely past tense…at least three months out.
This present moment I am finally done grieving the loss of an unavailable man along with letting go of a potential rebound that assisted in my grieving process. And the letting go of Mr. Rebound was aided by a serendipitous encounter this past Friday with a handsome New Yorker who asked to split a cab from the West Loop to the Trump Hotel.
Dear friends, life is GREAT and the energy in this city is absolutely magnificent! Talk about appreciation, this city explodes after four months of hibernation. There’s always around five major events going on every weekend entailing food, music, and spirits along with lower-scale affairs.
My ex-husband sent me a text one evening asking that I please don’t write about our sexless marriage and, to post a disclaimer that during our relationship I had lesbian tendencies that didn’t coincide with his 14 lb. you know what. He always managed to make me laugh. For example, a year ago I placed a call to him out of the blue (it had been five years since we last spoke). I had wanted to apologize to him for making him out to be a jerk and take responsibility for the role I played in the failure of our marriage. When he answered I said “Hi, it’s Sandi”
His silence prompted me to state my full name upon which he replied “Ah! You’ve come crawling back!” I couldn’t help but crack up.
I had the pleasure of catching up with him on my recent trip back to San Diego last month and feel very blessed to have had shared the wonderful experience of marriage with him. Now back to my reason of not blogging.
So last week I, along with my friends Tracy, Erin, and Patricia, attended a last minute casting call for a reality show based on four single girlfriends living in Chicago… a Sex and The City spin-off. Tracy and I were contacted the night before with the request to attend and while I was contemplating it, Tracy jumped on it. The following morning we found ourselves answering a six page personal questionnaire regarding our friendship and dating history with a 3pm appointment set for us four to attend. Patricia wasn’t physically available but they agreed to shoot our interview while holding a laptop between the three of us so the camera could catch Patricia on Skype webcam. The first question was for each of us to state which character of Sex and The City we most resemble. Mine was a combination of Charlotte and Samantha.
Along with my deep esteem for the late Audrey Hepburn, I make it a point to carry myself with class, style, and charm BUT it doesn’t take away from the pleasure I have in being sensual. During our individual interviews, I found it very easy to disclose a couple of past events involving my sexual adventures. I’m finally at a point in my life where I feel extremely comfortable with my body and my natural desires, plus discovering what works for me and bold enough to request it.
At the same time, I am conscious of my relationships with the young adults in my life, mainly from my church youth group, who might come across my writings and the responsibility I have as their role-model and mentor.
Along with the youth, the recent men I have dated might not approve of my free-style confessions. There are two reasons within us that decide our actions; one is to look good and the other is to avoid looking bad. I want to avoid looking bad.
So with the exception of my friends and family, I will always use fictitious names when it comes to men and intimacy plus, I have decided to keep my confessions extremely past tense…at least three months out.
This present moment I am finally done grieving the loss of an unavailable man along with letting go of a potential rebound that assisted in my grieving process. And the letting go of Mr. Rebound was aided by a serendipitous encounter this past Friday with a handsome New Yorker who asked to split a cab from the West Loop to the Trump Hotel.
Dear friends, life is GREAT and the energy in this city is absolutely magnificent! Talk about appreciation, this city explodes after four months of hibernation. There’s always around five major events going on every weekend entailing food, music, and spirits along with lower-scale affairs.
Thursday, 5 March 2009
Stop! Drop!...and Roll!
Monday was moving day for me and I am now living with a very close friend of mine, Tracy whom I originally met back in San Diego. Last September I was very saddened to hear that she was moving to Chicago but, little did we know that we’d be reunited soon there after. We kicked off the celebration with an evening of backgammon at The Parthenon restaurant in the company of our sensational friend, Patricia. Afterwards the three of us met up with one of Tracy’s beaus at The Peninsula Lounge and somewhere around 1 a.m. the question “what’s one of the craziest things you’ve ever done?” arose. Here is ONE of my personal memories I shared that night:
About three years ago I was the third wheel of a date with a friend of mine at The Cannery in Newport Beach, CA. We were through with dinner by 8:30 p.m. and Niki asked Mike if we could go to a strip bar. Now, besides the male stripper at my bachelorette party back in 2001, I had never entertained an evening at a gentleman’s club and my eyes lit up at the thought of a new experience. I said “Yes! I’ve never had a lap dance by another woman and would like to see what it would be like.” Mike drove us to The Library a few miles away and upon paying our entrance fee, the gentleman at the door asked if we were there for amateur night. I said no, I am here to get my very first lap dance and in we went. I carefully assessed the inventory of vixens parading around the room to select the perfect one for a memorable first experience. Within a couple of minutes a beauty approached me and asked if I was there for their amateur night. I said no and stated my true intentions. She encouraged me to consider it and my friend Niki egged this notion as well.
“Are you kidding!” I mocked, “I’ll be like Lucy Ricardo up on that stage! Besides, I don’t have an outfit.” Next thing I know I’m in the dressing room looking through corsets, and three tequila shots later I’m standing in a line backstage with the selection of two Prince songs and ‘Rio’ as my stage name. Seeing that Niki had a background in professional dancing, her advice was to dance really slow, circle the stage a couple of times and stay clear of the pole. If anxiety sets in due to lack of moves then your next move is to Stop! Drop on your knees and crawl, then Roll back into another move.
By the time my number came up the tequila was starting to create an unpleasant feeling of constipation clearly not aiding my nerves. Then the girl behind me shoved me through the velvet curtain into the blinding colorful lights. You have NO idea how long one song can be under such circumstances. I did my slow, stage parading moves (1 minute) and, I glanced at the pole knowing my paralytic future that would await me if I attempted anything creative. With that in mind, I proceeded to play it safe by only rubbing my arse up and down the side of the pole. By this point I couldn’t tell the laughter apart from the applause and my moves had been exhausted. Anxiety had set in so I proceeded with the Stop! Drop! and Roll! advice. Then song number TWO came on….aggghhhh, stop the bleeding! I repeated the whole Lucy Ricardo stint but this time my drop went into a scissors split pose- OUCH! and my roll was off the stage onto the floor where my friends graciously pick me up.
I won second place that night with a $600 reward for my entertainment and that was the last night The Library opened their doors.
About three years ago I was the third wheel of a date with a friend of mine at The Cannery in Newport Beach, CA. We were through with dinner by 8:30 p.m. and Niki asked Mike if we could go to a strip bar. Now, besides the male stripper at my bachelorette party back in 2001, I had never entertained an evening at a gentleman’s club and my eyes lit up at the thought of a new experience. I said “Yes! I’ve never had a lap dance by another woman and would like to see what it would be like.” Mike drove us to The Library a few miles away and upon paying our entrance fee, the gentleman at the door asked if we were there for amateur night. I said no, I am here to get my very first lap dance and in we went. I carefully assessed the inventory of vixens parading around the room to select the perfect one for a memorable first experience. Within a couple of minutes a beauty approached me and asked if I was there for their amateur night. I said no and stated my true intentions. She encouraged me to consider it and my friend Niki egged this notion as well.
“Are you kidding!” I mocked, “I’ll be like Lucy Ricardo up on that stage! Besides, I don’t have an outfit.” Next thing I know I’m in the dressing room looking through corsets, and three tequila shots later I’m standing in a line backstage with the selection of two Prince songs and ‘Rio’ as my stage name. Seeing that Niki had a background in professional dancing, her advice was to dance really slow, circle the stage a couple of times and stay clear of the pole. If anxiety sets in due to lack of moves then your next move is to Stop! Drop on your knees and crawl, then Roll back into another move.
By the time my number came up the tequila was starting to create an unpleasant feeling of constipation clearly not aiding my nerves. Then the girl behind me shoved me through the velvet curtain into the blinding colorful lights. You have NO idea how long one song can be under such circumstances. I did my slow, stage parading moves (1 minute) and, I glanced at the pole knowing my paralytic future that would await me if I attempted anything creative. With that in mind, I proceeded to play it safe by only rubbing my arse up and down the side of the pole. By this point I couldn’t tell the laughter apart from the applause and my moves had been exhausted. Anxiety had set in so I proceeded with the Stop! Drop! and Roll! advice. Then song number TWO came on….aggghhhh, stop the bleeding! I repeated the whole Lucy Ricardo stint but this time my drop went into a scissors split pose- OUCH! and my roll was off the stage onto the floor where my friends graciously pick me up.
I won second place that night with a $600 reward for my entertainment and that was the last night The Library opened their doors.
Thursday, 26 February 2009
A Dire Attempt to Keep Busy!
I originally set up this blog back in November after reading Tiffany’s, which inspired me to post my personal thoughts and experiences as well. Tiffany and I met shortly before our individual departure from sunny San Diego back in September and we connected instantaneously! By November she had jetted off to Dubai and I had driven cross country with my sister, Lisa to Chicago.
Chicago has done nothing but blessed me day in and day out with inspirational and motivational energy beyond belief! And, a certain gentleman, whom I’ll refer to as Grand, has broken through five years of guarded vulnerability. A vulnerability disguised by an independent, blissfully single self and living life on my own terms. I want to share and incorporate my life terms with Mr. Grand, only problem is that his terms are not available. Bitter sweet- I know! but the best way to mend a broken heart and stop chasing Grand ghosts is to sign up for everything! So I have registered for three half-marathons this coming year (I've never ran over 3 miles honestly) and this Monday I embarked on two new business ventures with the introduction to an office downtown. But why stop there, I also took on some community projects AND this blog will fill in the cracks :)
Without further a ‘do…Welcome to Chicago through my eyes and I anticipate that my words will touch, move, and inspire you.
p.s. There is no doubt in my mind that Ms. Tiffany and I shared a past life (Mr. Grand too).
Chicago has done nothing but blessed me day in and day out with inspirational and motivational energy beyond belief! And, a certain gentleman, whom I’ll refer to as Grand, has broken through five years of guarded vulnerability. A vulnerability disguised by an independent, blissfully single self and living life on my own terms. I want to share and incorporate my life terms with Mr. Grand, only problem is that his terms are not available. Bitter sweet- I know! but the best way to mend a broken heart and stop chasing Grand ghosts is to sign up for everything! So I have registered for three half-marathons this coming year (I've never ran over 3 miles honestly) and this Monday I embarked on two new business ventures with the introduction to an office downtown. But why stop there, I also took on some community projects AND this blog will fill in the cracks :)
Without further a ‘do…Welcome to Chicago through my eyes and I anticipate that my words will touch, move, and inspire you.
p.s. There is no doubt in my mind that Ms. Tiffany and I shared a past life (Mr. Grand too).
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