Writer’s block again? NOPE. I’ve just been extremely busy with getting my business going and needed to work through a couple of emotional phunks.
I have been in this city for a year now and feel very settled in. Recently I was asked by a new acquaintance if I had made any friends since I moved and the immense smile that spilled onto my face caused me to reflect on the tight group of loving friends that I have in Chicago. I feel very blessed to have attracted the cream of Chicago’s society. I want to take this moment to acknowledge an amazing individual, my dear friend, Adam McLain. Adam was and is a powerful instrument, not only in my life but everyone else that knows him. He is a gateway to the cream of inspiring like-minded individuals that live in this city. His positive, loving character is so contagious that you want to be around his energy all the time.
My business is finally taking flight and I hired my first two employees a couple of weeks ago. It’s not easy to pick up and leave a west coast lifestyle, especially the cream of San Diego and Puerto Vallarta but God- it’s REALLY EXCITING to see what tomorrow brings. It can be a very hard and sorrowful day OR it can be the best day of YOUR Life! I would have never imagined 18 months ago that I would be A) living on Lake Shore Drive and B) owning my own company. More importantly, I would have NEVER, in a million years, imagined that it would take the loss of the greatest love of my life to have such an extraordinary life. So many ask why the hell would I leave San Diego and my work in Puerto Vallarta to start all over in Chicago? My youngest brother Randy of eighteen years old committed suicide by a gunshot wound to his head on August 25th 2008 around 1p. The day of his funeral I offered my Mother to do her hair and she said she hadn’t washed it since Randy’s death. I stepped into the shower with my Mother and washed her hair. Five minutes later my nephew Noah climbs into the shower with us butt-naked and asks that I wash his hair too. That was the moment I decided to move back home after eleven years. I don’t want to miss the next opportunity to wash my loved one’s hair.
I miss my brother so very, very much and I feel extremely blessed to be his sister, to be my father and mother’s daughter, to be an aunt… to be your friend. Thank you and MAKE IT A GREAT DAY! It was created just for you :-)
p.s. To my friends in San Diego & Puerto Vallarta, I miss and love you all. Thank you for CONSTANTLY being in contact and for all the special trips many of you have taken to Chicago to be with me. I will visit you soon when the winter has settled in.
Thursday, 5 November 2009
Friday, 17 July 2009
Writer's Block?
Not necessarily. It has been three and a half months since my last post and I apologize for neglecting my writing. It’s not that I don’t have anything going on, I have plenty but the interesting subjects in my life involve men and dating or topics I hesitate to disclose.
My ex-husband sent me a text one evening asking that I please don’t write about our sexless marriage and, to post a disclaimer that during our relationship I had lesbian tendencies that didn’t coincide with his 14 lb. you know what. He always managed to make me laugh. For example, a year ago I placed a call to him out of the blue (it had been five years since we last spoke). I had wanted to apologize to him for making him out to be a jerk and take responsibility for the role I played in the failure of our marriage. When he answered I said “Hi, it’s Sandi”
His silence prompted me to state my full name upon which he replied “Ah! You’ve come crawling back!” I couldn’t help but crack up.
I had the pleasure of catching up with him on my recent trip back to San Diego last month and feel very blessed to have had shared the wonderful experience of marriage with him. Now back to my reason of not blogging.
So last week I, along with my friends Tracy, Erin, and Patricia, attended a last minute casting call for a reality show based on four single girlfriends living in Chicago… a Sex and The City spin-off. Tracy and I were contacted the night before with the request to attend and while I was contemplating it, Tracy jumped on it. The following morning we found ourselves answering a six page personal questionnaire regarding our friendship and dating history with a 3pm appointment set for us four to attend. Patricia wasn’t physically available but they agreed to shoot our interview while holding a laptop between the three of us so the camera could catch Patricia on Skype webcam. The first question was for each of us to state which character of Sex and The City we most resemble. Mine was a combination of Charlotte and Samantha.
Along with my deep esteem for the late Audrey Hepburn, I make it a point to carry myself with class, style, and charm BUT it doesn’t take away from the pleasure I have in being sensual. During our individual interviews, I found it very easy to disclose a couple of past events involving my sexual adventures. I’m finally at a point in my life where I feel extremely comfortable with my body and my natural desires, plus discovering what works for me and bold enough to request it.
At the same time, I am conscious of my relationships with the young adults in my life, mainly from my church youth group, who might come across my writings and the responsibility I have as their role-model and mentor.
Along with the youth, the recent men I have dated might not approve of my free-style confessions. There are two reasons within us that decide our actions; one is to look good and the other is to avoid looking bad. I want to avoid looking bad.
So with the exception of my friends and family, I will always use fictitious names when it comes to men and intimacy plus, I have decided to keep my confessions extremely past tense…at least three months out.
This present moment I am finally done grieving the loss of an unavailable man along with letting go of a potential rebound that assisted in my grieving process. And the letting go of Mr. Rebound was aided by a serendipitous encounter this past Friday with a handsome New Yorker who asked to split a cab from the West Loop to the Trump Hotel.
Dear friends, life is GREAT and the energy in this city is absolutely magnificent! Talk about appreciation, this city explodes after four months of hibernation. There’s always around five major events going on every weekend entailing food, music, and spirits along with lower-scale affairs.
My ex-husband sent me a text one evening asking that I please don’t write about our sexless marriage and, to post a disclaimer that during our relationship I had lesbian tendencies that didn’t coincide with his 14 lb. you know what. He always managed to make me laugh. For example, a year ago I placed a call to him out of the blue (it had been five years since we last spoke). I had wanted to apologize to him for making him out to be a jerk and take responsibility for the role I played in the failure of our marriage. When he answered I said “Hi, it’s Sandi”
His silence prompted me to state my full name upon which he replied “Ah! You’ve come crawling back!” I couldn’t help but crack up.
I had the pleasure of catching up with him on my recent trip back to San Diego last month and feel very blessed to have had shared the wonderful experience of marriage with him. Now back to my reason of not blogging.
So last week I, along with my friends Tracy, Erin, and Patricia, attended a last minute casting call for a reality show based on four single girlfriends living in Chicago… a Sex and The City spin-off. Tracy and I were contacted the night before with the request to attend and while I was contemplating it, Tracy jumped on it. The following morning we found ourselves answering a six page personal questionnaire regarding our friendship and dating history with a 3pm appointment set for us four to attend. Patricia wasn’t physically available but they agreed to shoot our interview while holding a laptop between the three of us so the camera could catch Patricia on Skype webcam. The first question was for each of us to state which character of Sex and The City we most resemble. Mine was a combination of Charlotte and Samantha.
Along with my deep esteem for the late Audrey Hepburn, I make it a point to carry myself with class, style, and charm BUT it doesn’t take away from the pleasure I have in being sensual. During our individual interviews, I found it very easy to disclose a couple of past events involving my sexual adventures. I’m finally at a point in my life where I feel extremely comfortable with my body and my natural desires, plus discovering what works for me and bold enough to request it.
At the same time, I am conscious of my relationships with the young adults in my life, mainly from my church youth group, who might come across my writings and the responsibility I have as their role-model and mentor.
Along with the youth, the recent men I have dated might not approve of my free-style confessions. There are two reasons within us that decide our actions; one is to look good and the other is to avoid looking bad. I want to avoid looking bad.
So with the exception of my friends and family, I will always use fictitious names when it comes to men and intimacy plus, I have decided to keep my confessions extremely past tense…at least three months out.
This present moment I am finally done grieving the loss of an unavailable man along with letting go of a potential rebound that assisted in my grieving process. And the letting go of Mr. Rebound was aided by a serendipitous encounter this past Friday with a handsome New Yorker who asked to split a cab from the West Loop to the Trump Hotel.
Dear friends, life is GREAT and the energy in this city is absolutely magnificent! Talk about appreciation, this city explodes after four months of hibernation. There’s always around five major events going on every weekend entailing food, music, and spirits along with lower-scale affairs.
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